I thought you were my sickness. When you festered and bubbled on my skin, I tried to cure myself of you. I thought that if I got rid of you, everything would be okay. But you kept coming back. I kept letting you back.

You were just another symptom.

You are not the cause of my misery, and I know that now. You are just something I bring in to occupy my mind, so that I don’t have to see my real problem. All the time you are here, causing me pain, polluting my life, you are just distracting me from the truth. I bring you back every time things get bad. It’s so much easier to hate you than it is to fix myself.

I will enjoy the damage you cause me, and when my real illness subsides I will throw you away and pretend that action solved my problems. And when my misery starts again, I will blame you.


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